Insanity
by herbutterflies
Summary: Complete - When a girl obsessed with Law & Order SVU comes to work for the SVU she gets the shock of her life.
1. Welcome to SVU

**A/N: I don't own any of the characters or Law & Order SVU or Anything. (Don't Sue)**

**It is a strange story but if you like it I will continue to write**

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You know those people who sit down and plan their life based on one event or one day, I am one of them. My story is strange but it would be told for years to come. My name is Stephanie Williamston and I am going to tell you about my life. Not my whole life, but of course my life that was changed that day. I am twenty-one, not that I look it though, people have told me I look more eighteen which would be good if I didn't act thirty. I am originally from Australia; you know that little country down the bottom of the world. Since I was a little kid I used to watch cop shows, CSI and Law & Order, I used to sit back and imagine myself as a cop and shooting bad guys, when I was eighteen I joined the Police and I have loved it since. At nineteen I was moved to rank of detective which was a great day. There is more to this story but things happen and change and well, you will soon find out. Recently I was asked over to New York to be part of SVU, it was a dream come true, not only did my favorite show happen their but I could live in New York.

The day I flew over it was cold, wet and snowy, I have never met snow. I got out of my taxi and looked around, tall skyscrapers everywhere, trees going down the road. It was amazing. I looked down at my it was two in the afternoon, I decided I would check myself into a hotel till I got a room for myself. I walked into the room and looked around, a bed in the middle of the room, a toilet to the left and a TV to the right; this room wouldn't be too bad. I set my alarm for nine thirty and lay down on my bed.

I awoke to the sound of loud siren and my alarm clock beeping. I sat up slowly and noticed I still had my jacket on and my shoes. I got up of the bed and looked in the mirror, my hair looked like a train wreck but I liked it. I looked down at my clock, nine forty-five. _Oh bugger I am late. Not a very good first impression._ I quickly changed my clothes and raced out of the hotel. The precinct was only two blocks away from my hotel so I sprinted there. I walked through the doors and walked up to the elevators hoping nobody would notice a tan girl with red hair walking through their office. The elevator arrived at the floor and I hopped out, I looked around, I must have seemed lost because a woman came up to me.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yeah, I am looking for Captain Cragen"

"He's just down the hall, he is in his office. Anything I could help you with?" the woman said giving me a smile that said 'There is something weird about you'.

"No, it's fine." I said and walked off.

I walked up to the office and the Captain and a man were already talking. The man got up and started yelling; he turned around and looked out the window directly at me. The fighting stopped. The Captain came and walked out of the office.

"Detective Williamston good to see you again. Thank you for coming." He stuck out his hand for me to shake, I nervously shook it back.

"No problem." I said, I looked over his shoulder, the man looked nervous.

"Oh right, Stephanie, this is Detective Stabler, Elliot this is Detective Williamston." The man came up beside the Captain. He was pretty tall and was amazingly familiar. He gave me a light nod, I nodded back._ There is something fishy about that guy._

"Now come meet the rest of the force." We walked back into the room, everyone was walking around talking and a man with glasses was sitting in the corner at his computer.

"Everyone, this is Detective Williamston she will be working with us for the next couple of months so make her feel at home." all the people turned and looked at me, my face turned red. _Dammit Steph, keep your emotions in check. _Captain continued:

"This is Detective Benson she has offered you a place to stay while you are here." The lady from before looked at me and smiled.

"And these two are Fin and Munch, you will be working with those two." The man from the corner looked up from his screen while the guy continued to sip his coffee.

"Now get to work." the captain said leaving me to wolves. I walked over to the one cleared desk and sat down. Munch and Fin came over and sat beside me.

"So Stephanie tell us about yourself."

"Well, I am 21 and from Australia."

"Anything else?"

"Not a thing. What was Detective Stabler doing in the Captains office before?"

"Elliot, probably more hot air" said Fin leaning back on his seat.

I took my break later in the day, I decided to go for a stroll through Central Park. _Something about those people was just not right. _I walked all round and down a street. I found a Internet café and sat down. I needed something to clear my thoughts. I went to you tube and search 'Law and Order SVU' (Law and Order being my favorite show). It came up with nothing, I was surprised. Then my mind came back, I realized what was bugging me. The people back in the precinct were characters from Law and Order SVU. My phone rang snapping me out of my weird stage.

"Hello."

"Stephanie, it's Olivia, from work. I was wondering were you had gone it's six o'clock" I slowly looked down at my watch, she was right.

"Sorry, I'll be right back."

I got up and ran out of the café. I managed to get back to the precinct at six fifteen. Olivia was sitting on the steps waiting for me; I hope she wasn't waiting long.

"Hey" I said with a half smile. Olivia got up and walked up to me. My brain was on overdrive, she was a fictional character on a popular tv show and on the other hand she was right here talking to me. I started to feel a little dizzy.


	2. History

I would like to thank the people that have read my story, I would like a big thanks to **protego-totalum88**** & DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88.**

Now back to the story.

**A/N: I don't any of the characters except for Stephanie.**

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**OPOV:  
**

I sat back and read my case files when a girl, who I guessed to be maybe 18 or 19 walked into the office looking confused. She had short red hair in a bow and she was wearing a long trench coat and black boats. She had a very nice tan. I got up and walked to her.

"Hi, can I help you?" I said hoping she wasn't another rape victim.

"Yeah, I am looking for Captain Cragen" she said with a thick Australian accent.

"He's just down the hall, he is in his office. Anything I could help you with?" the Captain was the last person in the world who needed a victim right now. I gave a small smile hoping I could get her to talk to me.

"No, its fine." she said and walked off.

I sat back down and looked around, Elliot was still in Cragen's office and Munch and Fin were over the over side of the room.

"What was that about?"

"Don't you remember?" said Munch giving me the conspiracy eye.

"Remember what?"

"You volunteered to lend one of your rooms to the newbie" said Fin with a smirk.

Captain came into the room a few minutes later, Elliot on one side and the girl on his other. Elliot came and stood next to me, he looked tense. _I'll ask him about it later._

"Everyone, this is Detective Williamston she will be working with us for the next couple of months so make her feel at home." I looked at her, she looked too young to be doing SVU cases, but I didn't know her that well. The Captain continued:

"This is Detective Benson she has offered you a place to stay while you are here." I smiled she keep the same straight face as before. Her hair looked messy.

"And these two are Fin and Munch; you will be working with those two." The boys hardly moved.

"Now get to work." the captain walked off. She looked scared but slowly walked off to her desk. Elliot came and sat down at his desk.

"El, you okay?"

"No, I am not"

"You want to talk?"

"I would rather not." we sat in silence.

"What was she all about?"  
"Her name is Stephanie Williamston, she's 21 and she is from Australia. On three month work exchange from New South Wales drug squad." he said rarely looking up from his screen. He continued to type at his keyboard.

"And, how, may I ask you know all this?"

"Her great-grand mom used to live next door to me and when she died she asked me to check on her." my mouth dropped. _Why did he not tell me this?_

"It's okay Liv, she's a nice girl. Look after her."

It time to go home, I looked everywhere for Steph. I picked up my phone and dialed the number Captain gave me.

"Hello." _Finally._

"Stephanie, it's Olivia, from work. I was wondering were you had gone it's six o'clock"

"Sorry, Ill be right back."

I sat down on the step and bite my tongue, there was something happening with her and I need to know.

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**S(Steph's)POV:**

After we got my stuff from the hotel, signed out and then arrived back at Olivia's place it was ten o'clock. Olivia's place was massive, I felt so guilty for letting me stay for so long.

"Steph, I was going to order so Chinese what would you like?"

"I am okay; I think I might just go to sleep. Which room's my room?"

"Your rooms the second door on the left." Olivia said pointing to the door.

I walked into the room, on the wall there was a bed and to the left of the door there was a cupboard. I wheeled my luggage in and sat down on my bed.

I awoke and slowly sat up. I was still in my clothes from the previous night.

_It was all just a bad dream. I am by myself, all the people from SVU are here. _

_Wait, what did you say?_

_I said all your favorite characters are real and you are living at Olivia's apartment._

_It wasn't a bad dream then was it?_

_Nope. _

I looked at my watch. One o'clock am. I sat up and started to put my luggage away. I looked around my bag, everything was there.

_Wait a minute what happened to my 'Olivia and Elliot 'shipper' t-shirt?_

"Oh bugger."

"So your awake are you?" said Olivia peeking into the room.

"Sorry, did I wake you."

"Nah, it's fine. I couldn't get to sleep anyway. So, you never said anything about yourself" Olivia said sitting down next to me.

"Well," I started nervously "I'm currently 21, originally from Australia and yeah." I mumbled, I grabbed my suitcase and put it to a side.

"There must be something else?"

"Nope." _Just leave it be_

"What about family"

"Look I don't want to talk about it"

"Okay, but I will be in the kitchen if you want to talk." She got up and walked out of the room. _Family_ I coughed _what family._

I went to the bathroom for a shower. The water felt nice, but it just wasn't right. I put some new clothes on and put my makeup on. I walked down to the kitchen, the time on the clock said seven o'clock. Olivia was sitting down watching TV; she must have been waiting for me. I walked up to the couch and sat down.

"What you watching"

"Just the news. Here you want to watch?"

"Okay" I said. _Maybe everyone at my old precinct must have told the Americans my obsession with SVU and they are just joking with me._

"Yeah, that's probably right, I wonder if they have LO: SVU here." I thought aloud.

"What was that?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, nothing." I half-heartily laughed. _Oh, crap. Did I say that aloud?_

"I think I might walk to work." I got up "I'll see you there" I started walking out the door, I got to the elevators and I turned around, my head started to spin. Olivia was right behind me_. I got to get away. _I opened the fire escape and started to walk down the stairs.

I heard a beep, and then another. My head pounded like a kettle drum. _Where am I? _I started to sit up and open my eyes. I looked at my arms, they were covered in bruises. I started to cry. _Keep it together, Steph. _

I started pulling the IV out of my arm when Olivia got back in.

"Oh god, you're awake."

"Wh-a-att hap-pened to me?"

"It's okay, lie back down."

"What happened to me" I said, tears flowing trying hard to lean back.

"You fell down five flights of stairs." I was astounded.

"Look can I go?" _I got to get out of here before they find out more about me._

"I asked the doctor before and they said there was no damage except that cut in your leg." I looked down, _Dammit, I thought that had healed. _The Cut on my leg was straight and was covered in bandage.

"Look I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go." I got up out of bed. Olivia's cell phone started to ring.

"Benson, Yeah she's out of bed. She is fine. We'll be down their in ten minutes" she put down the phone.

We have to be down town, they need us.

We arrived. They had their and Elliot and Fin were already there. A twelve year old girl had been beaten and left for dead in a dumpster managed to get the girl to the hospital.

"Do we have any ID on the girl?" Elliot asked the crime scene investigator.

"Not yet. We are still looking"

"I think Olivia and I will go talk to the girl and Steph, you and Fin can go ask around" said Elliot. Olivia and Elliot walked off leaving me and Fin alone. I walked off and sat on a nearby bench. I turned around; Elliot had come back and was talking to Fin.

_D__o I really want to be a cop?_

_Of course you do. _

_But I mean seeing this; I mean this is something that you only get from TV._

_Okay, get yourself together. _I started searching through my pockets.

**FLASHBACK**

**Christmas Eve 1999. Age 15.**

**Everyone is sitting around out giant fake Christmas tree. The AC is on full blast and my younger cousins are running around the sprinkler. Mum brings out the Chicken and starts serving everyone. Mum tells me to go to the basement to get some more wine for the grown ups. Down in the cellar I start hearing yelling from above. I run back up to the door and look through the key hole. Two men in black carrying guns march through our house. **

"**Right, is that everyone?" one of the men yells.**

"**That's everyone" mum says frightened. She turns at looks at me, her eyes filled with tears and anger. It suddenly becomes harder to breath. The men start dragging everyone from around the house to the dining room. They shoot everyone and leave. I went and hid in the basement crying. I found a box cutter, it was sharp, and I took it and cut a line into my leg. The blood slowly flowing onto the floor.**

**END FLASHBACK.**

I found what I was looking for. My trusty friend, who stayed with me through out my ordeal. The box cutter. Its black cover hides very well in my black bag. I felt a hand on my shoulder and put my friend away. I quickly stand up.

"You okay Steph."

"Yeah, I'm fine" _No I am not_

"You can talk to us."

"I'm fine, just drop it"

"Well, we have to go door knocking."

"Fine, let's go"

We walk around the streets asking people whether they have heard or seen anything, I give a few people mine and Fin's card.

We get back to the office around six thirty. When Fin and I walk in there is silence. I get to my desk and lay my head against the desk.

_Get over yourself, Steph, they are people. Either talk to them or stop being acting crazy_

_I am not crazy._

_Oh really, talking to yourself. That's defiantly not crazy._

_And secondly, how would you react when you are thrown into a world you once thought was fictional?_

_Get up, they are looking at you. GET UP!_

I sit up. Munch gives me a weird look from his desk. _Elliot is staring at me again, he knows something._ The Captain walks into the office breaking the silence.

"Right, what have we got on John Doe girl?"

"Her real name is Samantha Digget and she's 12." said Olivia speaking up.

"Fin and Steph did you get anything door knocking."

"People said that she wasn't from the area and the general response was they didn't hear or see nothing." said Fin.

"Right, get back to work. Stephanie come to my office." Everyone looked at me.

_See, look what you did. Everyone thinks your crazy and you managed to not make friends with the people you used to write Fanfics about._

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**:DD**


	3. Undone

Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed, read, story alerted just for everything. :DD

A special thank you to: **b****lueskies723, DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88, EO4LIFE, twingirl1**

A/N: I am no major Hollywood tv writer and I defiantly don't own Law & Order: SVU.

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I walked into Cragen's office and slammed the door. He gave me the evil eye and showed me a seat. _This is not good._

"Now, Steph I heard from Olivia about what happened this mourning" the tone of his voice dropped "and a few others, I am not going to name names, are worried, we all are, you have only just got here. You got to talk to us"

"I am fine captain, just let me get back to work" I stood up and walked to the door.

"I don't want to have to send you back to Australia, 'cause I can at any time."  
"Fine, what do you want me to do" I sighed and sat back down.

"Just go see Huang."

"Fine" and walked off.

"So, you know why you are here" he said with a calm voice.

"You tell me why I am here" _Calm down Steph this isn't helping you one bit._

"Olivia told me about your accident this mourning"

"Yeah, I fell, so what."

"and about your cut." I sat still, not moving, not saying anything. "By you not saying anything you already knew about it."

"No, I got it from the fall." _Lie, Steph, Lie._

"How long have you been cutting yourself?"

"Ummm," the tears started. "Since I was 15."  
"Tell me about it."

"Well, whenever I get stressed or just get nervous or even just a little bit uncomfortable I open up the wound. I never make others. Just the one" Huang gave me a brief smile and walked out of the room.

_The__re you go Steph, you are now a cutter. Good Job. See ya SVU. _

_Not true, he just wants to help._

_Yeah right, they'll put me away._

_If you really think that walk out of the room._

I stood up and started to walk out when the door opened. Olivia and Elliot walked in. Elliot still with his deathly cold glare as before and Olivia filled with Sorrow. _Great, two more people who will think I'm crazy._

"Hey Steph, George called me. Anything you want to say." Olivia mutters. Her eyes giving me that same look.

"Look, Olivia, I just want to go back to work."

"Listen to her Steph" Elliot mumbles.

"My lil' Elliot's grown up. First words?" I laugh. I see his face, first anger then sadness. _He knows something._

"Steph, he just wants to help" Olivia says as I walk out. Tears start coming down harder. I walk outside to the cold frosty air. Munch and Fin are sitting down on the park bench. I feel the coldness. _Dammit, I left my jacket and my bag behind._ Munch and Fin stand up a look at me. They are smiling. I walk up to them and nod. We go back to work.

* * *

We finally got DNA and crime scene evidence from the Samantha case. We got everything except for a perp. Samantha told Olivia that her boyfriend beat her, His name is Jacob. Time to get you Jacob. _My first bust. Lovely. _ I look my watch in the dim light of the alley. Three thirty, long day. Fin and Munch haven't said anything and I still haven't got my bag back from the doc. Munch and Fin walk up to the front door and Fin knocks, nothing, he knocks again. My heart starts bounding and Munch nodds at me from the corner. I look up and down the alley, nobody. I jump the fence and I open the door. _Unlocked, excellent. _I walk into the first room, it looks like the kitchen, all over the room I see clothes and filth. I start dry reaching when Jacob walks into the room with a gun. _OH CRAP! _My mind yells at me. I pull up my gun and remember everything from school.

"Put the gun down Jacob and lie down on the ground!" I yell trying to get Fin and Munch.

"You put your gun down and you might, just maybe get out alive." he sniggers. Jacob is taller than me; his bleach blond hair is over hanging his eyes. I drop my gun, nerves and tears starting.

"Cry, that's what Samantha did. Where's your accent from? I would love to brag that I killed a foreign cop." I cough and try my best to hold back tears.

"TELL ME!" he says walking closer to be. Close enough that in one shot me could kill me.

"Aus-s-tralian." I say. I close my eyes and wait for death. One minute passes and enough, while I still have my eyes close. I open, three shots, blood covers me. I close and crumble to the ground.

_WHAT THE HELL!__ GET UP! GET UP!_

_Stay down Steph, it's all for the best._

_IF YOU DON'T GET UP RIGHT NOW NOBODY WILL GET HIM!_

_What if someone else has been shot? or even you? Just stay down._

I feel someone shake me. I open my eyes; Olivia is standing over me, Munch and Fin and looking at Jacob dead lifeless body. Olivia hugs me;

"Steph, you okay." She says.

"I guess so. What," I straighten up "I mean, what happened?"

"Munch and Fin shot him when they managed to open the door"

"Am I Okay?"

"Yeah, your fine. Come on I'll take you home."

The car drive home was deathly silent, everything was falling apart. _I never thought it would be this hard to get people to know you, you know these people back to front. _We arrived back to Olivia's place, I went to my room and laid down on the bed.

_What to do now?_

_You could talk to her._

_Or?_

_You could exercise, look at yourself, and look at that gut._ I sat up got my track pants on and walked out of the apartment. I walked into the cold open street, people walking with lovers in tow, people with little kids on there arms. I ran up the street trying hard not to bump into people. I bumped into a man who was running my direction, I looked at him, his eyes looking at me, I ran off.

"Stephanie! Wait up!" I heard calling from where I had just come from. I felt two arms grab me from behind. I fought back, throwing punches, one managed to get them in the nose.

"Steph, It's me Elliot" Elliot lifted the hood from his jumper, it was him except for a slightly bleeding nose.

"What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

"No."

"How about we just walk"

"What do you want from me?" I said looking at him, his puppy dog eyes looking back.

"The truth."

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Read & Review.

:DD


	4. Alone

Hey Hey is Grrovvyhevens here, Thanks for everyone's reviews and everything.

As always special thanks to: **EO4LIFE & DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88.**

A/N: There are many things I own by Law & Order: SVU is not one of them.

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For some reason I trust him, it's more than the fact that I have had a crush on him and it's more than the fact I know he likes Olivia but I trust him. We walk over to a park bench and sit down. He put his arm around me and faced me. _God, I must be going insane. _My heart squeals.

"Now tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me why you don't want to talk about yourself?" he said, his eyes pleading. I started crying. _Why am I crying?_

"Well," I sniff "I have lived on the streets for three years. I had to fight my way to do anything remotely good and nobody likes me"

"That's not true, everyone at the office likes you. We are worried about you." he moves his hand to my cheek and brushes the tears off. I sniff again, Elliot just laughs.

"What about your family?" Elliot asks. _You did not just ask about my family?_

"Can we not talk about it, please?"

"Well, I would like to know."

"Just drop it" I yell, my tears dry up and are replaced with anger.

"You can't keep it to yourself forever, Steph, people need to know"

"People don't need to know if it doesn't involve them."

"It does involve me Steph. Now tell me!" He yells, now standing up.

"Yeah right, your not even real!" I stand up. _Oh god, what did you just say Steph?_

"What?" Elliot says baffled. _You have done it now! _I put my hands over my face and sit back down.

"Just drop it" I say in part mumble. Elliot sits back down next to me. I look at him, his eyes confused and partly sad. I should not have said that. _Bugger! _I get up slowly.

"I got to go, Elliot, just please, lets not mention this again. Okay?" I say and walk back to Olivia's apartment.

**OPOV:**

I woke up on the couch, I looked at the clock on the wall, I had only been asleep fifteen minutes. I got up and started getting for bed. The door opened and Steph walked in, she was crying and was wearing gym stuff, she forgot to shut the door so I walked over and closed it. Steph just went to her room. I heard someone knock at the door so I went back to the door, I looked through the hole, it was Elliot. _What was he doing here?_ He had a bleeding lip and was wearing his running clothes.

"Elliot, you okay?" I said, I walked him inside and got a towel for his lip.

"Liv we need to talk" he said with his officer tone of voice. _This could not be good. _He walked me over to the couch and we sat down.

"It's about Steph"

"Yes, why did she just walk in crying?"

"Don't change the topic." he glowered "You remember how Huang said that Steph has been cutting herself from some long suffering emotional pain?"

"Yes, I tried to talk to her about it, I got nothing"

"I think it has something to do with her parents"

"How do you guess that?"

"I was out on a run and I saw her, she ran off and I grabbed her," I gave Elliot a angry glare "She punched me," _So that's were he got the cut lip_ "but she came around and talked to me. She told me she had been living on the streets for three years, so I am guessing she was 15 when the thing happened."

"She won't tell me anything"

"She also told me that I am not real"

"What?" I was surprised.

"She told me I was not real and ran off."

"But you are real."

"She knows something about us and she isn't saying."

"You don't have to tell me twice" I said rolling my eyes. I looked down the hallway, Steph was leaning out of her room listening in. I scowled and she jumped back into her room. Stephanie was like the child I didn't have.

"You better go" I say "She's listening in, we can talk again tomorrow"

"Can we?" Elliot looks at me.

"Yeah, of course we can." I say. He leans in and we kiss, it was magical. _I can't believe we are kissing!_

"I love you Liv" he looks at once we break off.

"I love you too"

**SPOV:**

The office isn't really the way you would imagine in the show. You sit, eat, work. That's the basic pattern of events. I walk up to my desk and sit down, Munch and Fin are looking at me. Elliot and Olivia walk in a few minutes later, both hand in hand, I throw up a little. The office looks at the two of them, Munch with a look of surprise and Fin with a look of romance.

"What happened to those two?" asks Fin.

"They kissed." I say in a sarcastic voice.

"Finally" says munch throwing a folder my way.

"What's this?"

"Your new case." says Cragen standing over my shoulder. My face goes red.

'How long was he standing there' I mouth to fin.

'The whole time' Fin mouths back.

"Don't worry Steph you didn't say anything that their body language didn't say." Cragen laughs and soon Fin and Munch laugh as well. I look over at Elliot and Olivia, they are happy.

_Don't you hurt __them!_

_Why no?. You have wanted Elliot as well._

_Because that's not the way the story goes._

_Stuff the story, fall in love; you will never get this again._

_You do this and you will never forgive yourself._

I look back to the folder and look for an address. I find one, collect my stuff and go out.

"Wait, aren't you two coming?" I ask Munch and Fin.

"Captain says this case is only for you" says Fin. I shrug and leave the office.

I had been sent to a case of a girlfriend being beaten by her boyfriend, a basic open and shut case but why was I sent alone, it was not normal. The girls name was Amy she was 21, my age. The boyfriend name is Greg. _Why do boys have to do this?_ I shook my head and continued on.

**WHILE BACK AT THE OFFICE**

**EPOV:**

"Is she gone?" asked Olivia.

"Yep" said Fin from the other side of the room. I stood up and went over the the white board, I flipped to the other side.

"What news have we got?" I asked everyone.

"Steph hasn't said anything to us" Munch said. _Well that helps. _Huang walks into the room and sits on Steph's desk.

"It seems that Steph has had a psychotic episode a couple of years ago but never got treatment for it, that's why she cuts herself. She doesn't make heaps of cuts which tells me that the original cut has a meaning that haunts her."

"Who has her bag now?" I ask around the room. Fin hands over the black bag, inside are a box cutter, her wallet and a bloody tissue. "What the?" I put the tissue up in the air. I hand it to Huang, he looks at it carefully.

"It's her blood, everytime she cuts she cleans herself up because she realises what she has done. What do we know about her family and childhood?"

"She was a middle child, out of three kids. She was fifteen, I guess, when she went onto the streets and then at eighteen joined the force."

"Something happened to her at fifteen that changed her." George looks around the room, puzzled faces everywhere. Cragen walks in and sits down.

"Fin and Munch, you call up the Australian Consulate and see if they can send or tell you about Steph. Liv, you and I will go talk to her" I look at Liv, she is already up and collecting her stuff.

"How do you know she will talk to you?" says Cragen

"Oh she will" I say with a wink. I grab up my stuff and we walk to the door, as we get close Steph walks in covered in Bruises and cuts.

"What happened?" Says Olivia. Steph shrugs and faints.

"Well, that was not nothing." says Huang over the top of Steph's body frantically looking for a pulse.

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**Tell me what you think, what I can change or improve, anything.**

**:DD**


	5. Drinks On The House

Welcome back to the Story. Long time no see, been busy. School, laughs. Sorry about the delay. Hope this is good.

For those who are clever and like sci-fi (Doctor Who (Which I don't own)) you may see a reference to a show. Prizes for the lucky one who notices it first.

Anyway, on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own, so please don't sue.

* * *

**E****POV:**

Huang managed to get her pulse going again and Munch called an Ambulance. We got in and she started vomiting blood, what was going on? I look at Liv, her face said it all, the sorrow, the disbelief. Liv was clutching onto Steph's hand, I didn't ever think she was going to let go. Steph opened her eyes and started to sit up, I pushed her down.

"Steph, can you hear me? Just stay down we will get you to a hospital soon" I said at her trying to calm down. She didn't say anything. Not that I was expecting her too, she just woke up from fainting and coughing up blood. She looked and Liv and she started crying. We arrived at the hospital and Steph was taken away. I looked at Liv, she was still crying.

"It's okay Liv, Steph's a fighter, she'll be fine."

"How could we let her go and let her investigate a crime by herself?"

"Don't punch yourself up about this"

"I going to find out about this!" Liv turned around and walked off.

**OPOV: **

The last case Steph had was an abusive boyfriend, a real open and shut case. I knocked at the door. I walked over to the window and looked in; a man lay on the ground, not moving. _OH BUGGER! _I kicked down the door and walked in, the man was covered in blood and had a bullet wound to the stomach. I checked his pulse, nothing. _What went on here?_

"Cragen"

"Hey Don, you know that case that Steph was on before she was admitted?"

"Yeah, that girl being beaten up by her boyfriend. What about it?"

"I just found the boyfriend. He's dead"

"What?"

"I think Steph has something to do with this"

"What makes you think that she did it"

"I just have this feeling"

"You can ask her later. Just give her some time"

* * *

I woke up and looked around, that same strange beeping noise was in my ears. I couldn't remember a thing. I remember being at the station with everyone looking at me and then – nothing. My head kept spinning and my hearing was shot but this beep noise kept going. I slowly opened my eyes and looked. Nobody, not a single soul. I sat my bed up and looked for the remote, TV, my old friend; whenever times got tough TV always had something good to say. I flicked the 'on' button and the news was on. "To breaking news, Police have found the body of a man. His bloody corpse was found in house around 5pm. So far there are no witnesses and Police are releasing no information. The man is known to be called Greg Matthews." I flicked it off. _What had I done, why couldn't I control my emotions. Olivia and Elliot have done it all this time and you spend a time in their shoes and what do you do? Stuff it up. _I heard a knock and looked around; Olivia was standing at the end of my bed.

"I see you have heard the news." she couldn't look me in the eye.

"Yeah."

"They will come and ask."

"I know"

"Why? Why'd you do it?"

"Olivia, There are many things about me you should never have to know. Many dark things."

"I can help you, just tell me" the tone of her voice was getting aggressive. She wasn't going to back down.

"You really want to know?"  
"Yes."

"Then get me out of here." I said. Her eyes slowly looked up and straight at me.

I had changed quickly and Olivia had managed to smuggle me passed all the nurses. We got to her car and my breathing was getting worse, I struggled as each breath wore me down. We drove out of the hospital without detection; we drove for about fifteen minutes in complete silence.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**AGE: 8**

I sat in the back of the car, all windows open and the AC blaring. It was a nice 31C outside and inside was getting warmer. Mum and Dad are in the front singing along to the old-time radio. We drive in the dark so that we can go without detection, Mum says that we just needed a change, I can tell otherwise. We stop at a small motel, it smells like Gasoline and cigarettes but I put up. Mum and Dad get out and open the car doors and slowly pull my asleep siblings out and into the room. Mum comes around to me, she notices I'm awake.

"Sweetie you know you should try and get some sleep."

"I know Mum but I couldn't. It's just so dark, the night scares me." I reached over and mum gives me a hug. She smiles and kisses me on the forehead.

"Let mummy tell you something. Nobody will ever hurt you."

"But what about when you go away, I will be alone." I splutter, tears starting.

"Listen to me, Okay." She gives me the eye, that eye she gives when she is about to give an important speech. "When I go you WILL be alone but you have to trust me, there will be two people to help you and when you find them you know what to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Those two people will be there for you, you may not know it now but it will blow you away how much they care."

"Did you ever have two people look after you?"

"I did Sweetie, your Daddy and your Aunty." A single tear rolled down her face.

"Now no more talking it's time to sleep." She wiped away the rogue tear.

"Yes mummy." I said and drifted off into sleep.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

We drove pasted a bar in our silence. I pointed to it and Olivia stopped the car in front of the bar. I hopped out and I walked in and sat down. Olivia looked around the room, there were heaps of people. I got a drink while Olivia was still in her own world.

"So, you want to know about me" I said and sculled my drink.

"Just tell me"

"When I was fifteen I watched my parents and all my family get shot to death." I laughed as the waiter kept refilling my drink. Her eyes grew wide, her mouth hang loose.

"You better shut that or the flies will get in" I snigger sculling another shot.

"You didn't report it?" she said sounding disappointed.

"When I was eight my parents told me that they had made some men very angry and that we were running across the country so that I could live a life with my parents. Christmas 1999 guess what happens. Boom!" I yell, the whole bar looks at me. I giggle and scull another drink. Olivia goes bright red. "Ever watched your mum get shot and then had to wait in a basement for two days while their corpses lie motionless on the bloody ground?"

"I'm sorry-"

"You know what's even funnier, that's what everyone says. Then they get sad, next it is resentment then you get exclusion. You are like the rest of them"

"You have to believe me Stephanie, I believe you. So does Elliot" I laugh. _What does he know?_

"You got to believe me, Elliot knew your grandmother. He has been watching over you, making sure you are alright." She sighed. She couldn't look me in the eye. I couldn't believe this.

"I am going Olivia. Don't follow; just let my desk collect dust." I said standing up, the shots had affected me, I was swaying. _Dammit, you got to get out of here._

"One question: Where did you take my bag after my accident?" I grinned. She looked confused.

"We took it took it to the one place and we left it there."

"Where?"

"The Station, your desk, third drawer"

"See you round Liv." I smiled and walked out of the bar leaving Olivia behind.

* * *

**EPOV: **

I arrived at the hospital as soon as I could. I looked everywhere, were was she. I saw the Captain and some FBI members.

"What's going on, Captain?" I looked stunned.

"Stephanie killed someone and Olivia is missing." my heart sunk.

"She won't."

"They found her gun at the victim's house. He stood no chance."

"Wait, where is Oliva?"

"That's what we want to know, we are getting security video as we speak. I am sorry Elliot." He turned to me but couldn't look me in the eye. I grabbed my phone and scrolled till I found Liv number. I moved away from the group and called her.

"_Benson"_

"Where are you?"

"_At this bar, I think it is called 'The Bad Wolf'"_

"I know where that is, do you want me to come get you?"

"_Could you?"_

"Yes. Do you know where Steph is? The FBI is looking for her"

"_FBI! She didn't do anything!"_

"You and I both know that but they don't. They found her gun at the victims house"

"_I took her out of the hospital; she told me all about herself"_

"Are you okay?"

"_I guess I am. You can tell captain what I told you"_

"I'll be there soon."

"_Elliot."_

"Yeah?"

"_I love you"_

"I know"

I walked back to the FBI and captain, I felt like I had Steph's life and death in my hands. I tell them and they will send her to jail but if I don't she will always be under bias and will never be a good cop. I knew what to do.

"Captain" he turned around to face me. The FBI glared at me, I glared back.

"You okay Elliot?"

"I talked to Liv, she took Stephanie out of the Hospital."

"She did what?!" he yelled. It was like steam coming out of his ears.

"Don't get angry at her, Liv is at a bar called 'The Bad Wolf' and Steph is still missing"

"You go get her and meet us back at the station."

"Thanks Captain."

I arrived at the bar and Olivia was waiting outside, as I pulled up she wasted no time by jumping in. She had been crying, it was obvious when she had been, her eyeliner always run and she never fixed it. I leaned over at wiped the small tear on her cheek. She leaned over and she kissed me. It felt like we were they forever, just kissing. I broke off and looked straight ahead. I started up the engine and we drove off. We arrived at the station and didn't say a word, we walked in and I pulled her into the bullpen.

"Liv"

"Elliot, please not now"

"What was that before?"

"Please not now"

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too Elliot but this is not the time."

"What happened at the bar?"

* * *

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**Send me one?**

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	6. Time Is Halting

**Welcome back to the story. May not make sense but if you like it I keep writing. **

**We are coming to the end of this story, bit sad really. I liked it.**

**Small parts by a few characters. Oh, I know it is a small chapter but the next will be long.**

**Thanks To: **hazaleyes (Thanks for the suggestion :D) and DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88.

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own so please don't sue._  
**

* * *

"Yes Olivia, what did happen at the bar?" said Captain. We both turned around and everyone was looking at us.

"We walked in and she started drinking. I sat down next to her and she asked me whether I truly wanted to know. I said I did and she told me that at fifteen she watched her parents get murdered by two masked gunmen." I looked around the room everyone was silent like they had watched a cat run in front of a car.

"Why didn't she tell us?" asked Elliot.

"She said that her parents were on the run from someone. I'm guessing they annoyed the mob."

"But still why not say anything?" asked Cragen. Everyone turned to Huang leaning against in the corner.

"She still believes its her fault and that everything she ever does is because of her. She has learnt to cope by cutting and something has knocked her over the edge to make her kill"

"We have to find her." I whispered.

"What did she say to you last?" asked Munch.

"It doesn't matter what she said she shot the man and ran" everyone turned around again. Casey. "She had no motive and it was a cruel killing. If you do find her we have to arrest her."

"It's not right Casey. She's not in her right state of mind" I was getting angry, why didn't she understand. I felt my phone ring in my pocket, I grabbed it and answered it.

"Hello Olivia." I froze, my mouth went dry. Everyone looked at me, I handed the phone over to Elliot.

**EPOV:**

"Stephanie where are you?"

"Hello to you too Elliot."

"Answer the question."

"Gone cop on me now. Tell Olivia that she was wrong about you, you don't care."

"We all care we aren't going to arrest you."

"Elliot, trust me. Forget about me. Just leave me alone" the phone went dead. I looked up and everyone was looking at me.

"Can we trace the call?" I asked.

**SPOV:**

I sat on the top of the building and looked out into the night sky. It was beautiful, It was nothing like home. They would find me sooner or later it was just a matter of what they would do. They had a choice: Arrest me and break their hearts or Let me walk free and break the law. I knew what they had planned, they had no choice. I walked up to the ledge and looked down, five storey's down. It would be quick and painless, well, for me at least. I walked back to my seat and pulled up a table, I pulled out my chair and wrote. Writing, next to watching TV and reading my good hobbies. I missed it, never had time for it during police work. I could hear them below me, wondering where I was, slowly tracing the call, and they then would find me, very close and oh so far away. I knew this day was coming, ever since my mum told me about the men and their deaths I knew I would be behind them, my siblings wouldn't suffer this because, well, they died with them. Some day's I wished I was with them, hoping that they would find me and get back what they needed. I slowly sat back and looked at the sky and waited for fate.

**OPOV: **

Everyone was losing it, she knew were we are and she knew what we were thinking. How was it possible. I thought about it, she said she wanted her bag. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me, I was clear, I looked through all the drawers and on the desk. I couldn't find anything, it was as if she had been there and clear everything out. I looked around the room and saw a note attached to the whiteboard.

_Olivia & Rest of Squad,_

_So sorry I couldn't be here,_

_But I am quite near,_

_You may look for me,_

_And try to move on from me,_

_Soon we will meet again,_

_And my journey will end,_

_I am up in the sky,_

_Here I soon will fly,_

_Trace the call,_

_Find the fault,_

_Because soon,_

_It will all end._

I shuddered at the note. What did it mean?

* * *

_Should I keep writing? Do you Like It? Do you Hate it? Any Suggestions?_

_Thanks_

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	7. Delivery For The 16

**Thanks Again For All The Reviews.**

** DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88** & **EO4LIFE** & **hazaleyes**

Drawing to a close, thinking about a sequel if this goes good. What do you think?

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own L&O:SVU. **

* * *

"We got the trace, it is from in the building" said one of the IT guys.

"You have to be kidding me" Cragen said shaking his head. I looked back at Olivia, she was standing at Steph's desk. She was frozen. I walked back into the room and tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped. She had a note in her hand, I looked at it. I knew exactly where she had gone.

"Captain, have a look at this" I handed over the note, he read it aloud to everyone. A deathly silence fell over the roof after he finished read.

"What now?" I asked what everyone was thinking.

"We have to find her."

"To do what? Send her to prison!" Olivia said from Steph's desk. She turned around and look at us.

"Olivia, it's possible that she could get off." Casey says walking over to Olivia.

"You say that but then you have to go against her in court."

"It could have just been an accident, Manslaughter, she will only get a few months."

"She won't be allowed to work here again Casey and you know that!" Olivia tensed up. I walked up and stood between them, I didn't want a fight. Munch walked back into the room and he was holding a box. We all opened the box and looked in, there were DVD's. On the front of them was a picture of us and the caption 'Law & Order: SVU'. What was this? There was another video in the box as well. We found a TV and popped the video in.

"I see you got my parcel. I know this is weird for you but you have to see how I felt. Seeing you. My brain rewired. I would like to say something that will be hard for me to say. I know I haven't said much about myself but that won't matter soon. When I was eight I found out that my parents were on the run from a mobster who wanted them dead. We ran through state to state till my parents gave up, my siblings had no idea. Mum and Dad told me not to tell anyone to save myself, they wouldn't stop at anything to kill the family. Christmas Day everyone from both sides of my family came over for lunch. The sun was nice and the BBQ was working to the max. Everyone didn't see it coming, my mum got me to go to the basement when they arrived. I was coming back from the basement and when I tried to open the door it was locked. I looked through the keyhole and saw two men in black gunning down my family. The blood, their bodies, my life, gone in a few minutes." Steph went quiet on the video, she was crying.

"I managed to stay for about three days in that basement waiting. Everyone I loved was gone, Mum, Dad, my brother and sister, cousins, aunties and uncles all gone. I was truly alone. When it got to the third day I broke down the door and ran out. I was fifteen and homeless. No family and no life. I spent that part of my life just trying to get past each day. When I was eighteen I started at the police academy, I loved it, I had control and I had the ability to start again and to save others. I got my life back, I got a normal life. So then it comes to now, I moved over here for two reason. One may scare you more than the other. One; I came over here because I wanted to be at the place where Law & Order was filmed. And Two because I wanted so badly to be the cop that I had seen on TV so many times before." Everyone was confused and deeply saddened. She hadn't said any of this to us, if she just had then everything would okay, we could find the people who killed her family.

"I know what you are thinking, 'I should have said something, you would find them' I really doubt you could. You may also be wondering about the DVD's in the parcel, that's you. Well, you in my country. A TV show, a very popular one at that. I used to think you were fiction and that I would never meet you. I now have met you and you are exactly like on the show. Elliot: Marry Olivia. Katy doesn't need you like Olivia does. Olivia: you need to realize that you need not get so involved with the victims, it will hurt you more than you realize. Munch & Fin: You are great guys and you need to realize that because you are secondary characters that you don't get given credit but you do. Captain: You know what to do after this. Casey: You need to remember that he wasn't your fault and that their was nothing you could have done for him. If you still want to find me remember the poem. Or just watch the show." the video cut out. Everyone was shocked, how did she know so much about us. Silence filled the 1-6, you could hear a pin drop.

"Do we go find her?" Olivia said breaking the silence.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Do we really want to?"

"Nope."

* * *

**SPOV:**

One wise person once said: Silence was deadly and in this case that was true. They were silent after the video. The sounds of the city filled their place; I listened as the roof door opened. I heard the gun cock behind me as I stood up.

"Congrats. I see you watched the video."

"What I don't understand was why you killed that guy?" said Elliot still holding his gun shakly.

"Him, Greg." I sighed and took a step towards the edge. "He was one of the guys who killed my parents. You want to know how I know? I talk to him and he goes; 'Your parents were wrong to hide you because you should have dies with them'"

"Their was no right to kill him. You could have told us."

"What would you have done then. Nothing!" I yelled. "You couldn't do anything because it would be the Australian police's job." I walked another step.

"Just come towards us, please, we can fix this. You won't have to go to jail, you can still stay with me." Olivia lowered her gun. _This was going to hurt her. _I walked a step towards them, Elliot still had his gun up.

"I don't your boyfriend would like that, he sees me as a killer not as a friend and not even as a cop." I sniggered.

"I don't steph, scouts honor" He said.

"So come on steph, it'll be okay."

I walked back another step, I was at the edge. I could feel the wind as I stood up on the ledge. I turned around to face them, my final moments through the eyes of the two people who trusted me.

"Just come down off the edge, we can talk about it." Olivia said walking closer.

"Don't come any closer!" I screamed. I looked around and down, it was five storeys. It was my only option. The roof door opened again as the whole squad walked onto the roof, guns up and ready to fire. I smiled and Olivia and Elliot turned around to them.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" yelled Captain.

"Nice to see you too Captain."

"Come on Steph, We can work this out" says Fin walking closer.

"DON'T MOVE!" I yell. I looked back at the ground, nobody's there. _Good, nobody to kill. I don't need two deaths on me._

'_What are you doing Steph' I heard a voice next to me, I looked down and sitting next to me was Mum._

'_Mum?'_

'_Yes, it's me. Now, no nostalgia talk just get to the point'_

'_They don't believe me, I had to' I started crying not realizing I was still in the open._

'_You need to stop beating yourself up about me. Move on with life.'_

'_I can't'_

'_Your stronger than you think. You have to let your squad into your life.'_

'_I ruined that, I told them about themselves and look at it now, they hate me'_

'_They are surprised but they don't hate you.'_

'_How do you know?'_

'_If they did they hate you would they be walking up to you with the intent to pull you down'_

I snapped out of the dream, Olivia and Elliot were walking closer. I breathed in and out and wiped the tears and lay back to the end of my life.

* * *

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	8. Palliative Care

**Second Last Chapter. :(**

**I am no doctor so don't get angry with me.**

**Thank you for all your lovin':** meffie **&** blueskies723 **& (My Always Constant Reviewer (THANK YOU))** DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88 **&** twingirl1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own so you can sue :P**

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _It's been not that long since I heard that noise. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around, alone, i was alone. I looked down at my wrists and saw handcuffs. _Great. I didn't die but I am going to jail. _I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

**EPOV:**

I leaned back in my chair and thought to myself. I could have let her die, let this all have been a dream but i didn't. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. Stephanie had closed her eyes and was talking to herself, we took that as our chance to get her down but we were nearly too late. She had leaned back just as we finished with the plan. Liv and I managed to reach out and grab her before she fell. We both could have let her die, we were that close. _You promised her grandma you would look after her, you would never let her die. _After we got her down we checked her out, she had gone unconscious, Liv called for a bus as we tried to wake her up. She had been out of it for two days now. The memories wouldn't stop going through my mind.

_"So thats what we do. Got it?" I said silently so that steph wouldn't hear. I looked around at her and she was mouthing out something. Liv and I started to walk closer to her, I could just hear what she was saying.  
_

'_I can't'_

'_I ruined that, I told them about themselves and look at it now, they hate me'_

'_How do you know?'_

_I had been surprised about the videos about us but I wasn't angry. I was confused but I didn't want her dead. Steph opened her eyes for a second and looked straight at us, her eyes like daggers. She slowly closed them again and started to lean back. We raced up to her and we grabbed her legs, her body dangling over the edge. One wrong move and she would die because we let her go. I couldn't let her die, I just couldn't. We both pulled at the same time to get her up. We got her over the edge and she wasn't moving or talking. I checked her airways, she wasn't breathing. _

_"Liv call a bus." I yelled at her, "Come on Steph stay with us" I started the CPR. We got her into the ambulance and followed in our cars all the way to the hospital._

_We all waited at the hospital for her to wake up, Munch paced in the corner and Fin was biting his nails. We were all vunerable to this, she showed us ourselves and for that she wanted to kill herself. Could we prosecute her, I don't think so. The doctor walked out with his clip board and eyed it all the way to us._

_"Is she okay?" a tone of worry in my voice._

_"She's a fighter that girl, we managed to get her breathing again but we are sorry but she may not make it."_

_"Are you sure?" asked Liv now standing next to me, her hand on my shoulder._

_"Positive. She may not make the night. You can see her soon"_

_"What was wrong with her?"_

_"We believe she had a psychotic episode caused by a small stroke"_

_"A Stroke! Can you do something?" yelled Fin getting up and stomping over. I pulled him back._

_"Don't do anything you would regret later" I patted him on the shoulder and he went and sat back down. We followed the doctor to her room, she looked peaceful. Liv went around and sat in the chair closest to Steph. A deep silence went over the room only broken by the heart monitors 'beeps'. I went up to her and moved her hair out of her face. She looked so fragile and so delicate. Liv got up and left, I guess she couldn't bare it. Fin and Munch walked in next, Munch was amazing quiet while Fin looked angry, everyone was changing._

* * *

The doctor's took there time to come visit me, it was like I wasn't suppose to be alive, it was only a matter of time. I struggled to sit up in bed, my handcuffs where making it hard, why was I in handcuffs in the first place. I tried hard to remember, then it stuck me, I was right they did hate me and I was going to go to prison. I heard footsteps slowly walking down the corridor to my room. _A Visitor for me, you shouldn't have. _The door opened and a doctor walked in, the man was quite tall, his short brown hair was nicely combed back and the black thick rimmed glasses looked nice with his green eyes. His eyes went wide when he saw me.

"Is there something in my teeth sir?" I asked, he shook his head and left his mouth open.

"Or is there something you like?" he quickly shut his mouth and walked up to the bed.

"Sorry its just that, we didn't think you would make it let alone be sitting up and talking" he couldn't look me in the eye.

"Tell me, Am I meant to be dead?"

"Yes" he raised his eyes and faced me. _At least he's honest._ I smiled. I came up beside me and pulled at my arm and put his fingers on my arm, testing my pulse.

"Heart rate normal, it's amazing." he sighed "If only others around here were that lucky."

"Here, where am I?" he reached over the bed to my folder. He opened it and looked in.

"You were admitted two days ago, you were taken to ICU and now you are Palliative Care." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice. I looked down at my feet they were tied to the bed.

"Why am I shackled down?"

"You woke up breifly and attacked a doctor, you kept saying 'Mum I miss you'." He put the clip board back and pulled up the chair and sat down. "I can uncuff them if you like" he smiled. I nodded and he took off the cuffs. I rubbed my rists, they ached.

"I am so stupid. what's you name?"

"Daniel. Daniel Zuffork." He smiled. "I'll go"

"Wait. Please don't"

"I have to, I have to go check the others haven't died." he scoffed and walked out. _Beep Beep Beep. _I was alone again. I turned onto my side and watched the heart rate monitor.

* * *

**OPOV:**

It had been three days since the I had seen her. At first I was sad then I got angry then I blamed myself. I had a bouquet of roses for Steph's bedside, the doctor said that he would call if she died, I brought the flowers to cheer the room up. I walked down the corridor listening to my shoes tap along the tile. I listened to the dullness of the hospital, then I heard it, laughter. I walked into Steph's room and it got louder. I saw Steph, she was alive, awake and laughing. She turned her head from the man she was talking to and saw me, her face dropped from the hapiness that was there a minute ago.

"Steph" I cried. She looked away to the man, he nodded his head and walked out of the room.

"Olivia" she smiled.

"W-We all thought you would die."

"This pony has one more ride left in her" she looked away, "Why are you here?"

"I," I gave her the flowers "I just thought it would brighten up the room. I am so sorry."

"I mean, you must hate me."

"We dont" I raced over to the seat and grabbed her hand "We were worried about you. This job, it challenges everyone and everyone had their share of hardtimes. You had them all in a short space of time"

"What about me?" she said looking over to the handcuffs on the bed side table.

I shook my head. "The state dropped all charges yesterday but IAB still wants to investigate"

"Are we okay?" she mummbled. I grabbed her face and turned it to face me.

"We are more than fine we are great" I smiled. She did too.

* * *

**Don't hurt me. You like? You Hate?**

**More to come in the last chapter of Insanity.**

**Who would like a sequel? I would only write it if you say so?**

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	9. Finale

My daring reviewers and readers this is the end. I know it is only nine chapters but I aren't big on long thirty chapter stories, nine is fine, even though it's only like 12,000 words. I would love to thank:

**Meffie**, **DegrassiRoxzMiSoxz88** & **EO4LIFE. Also thank all the others that have reviewed or favourited or even alerted. I couldn't ask for any more.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own L&O:SVU.

* * *

I showed my badge to the desk as I walked into the precinct. It had been two months since that faithful moment that was so close to ending up worse than it needed to be. I was eternally grateful to Elliot and Olivia, if it wasn't for them I would be another painful memory. I wasn't in the hospital that long but due to my actions I had been pulled up by IAB. I managed to get let off with only having to see a shrink. I felt my hand pulse, I turned to look as Daniel stood next to me. I had told him everything that happened to me, amazingly, he didn't run or get angry, he kissed me. Been together since that day I woke up. We walked to the lift and I pushed the up button.

"You okay?" He asked, he was more caring than I had ever deserved.

"I'm fine. I'm more worried about their reactions" I admitted.

I had told Liv not to tell anyone I had woken up, it was I and I alone that should tell them and I knew I was ready. Liv came and visited a few more times, telling me about gossip and staying with me on those rare times that Daniel left. HE had really become a part of my life._ 'PING' _The left doors opened and we walked in, I felt the butterflies starting to form and my hands started to sweat. Daniel leaned over and kissed me on the fore head and I sighed. _It's your time. _The doors opened and we walked out into the lobby. I looked up and down and saw nobody, worry started to seep in, I did my best to remain optimistic. We turned and walked slowly towards Cragen's office, every step bringing a new butterfly. I knocked on the door remembering my first day and walking part way through a fight. The door opened and Cragen was sitting at his desk, his face light up with joy as I walked in. I let go of Daniels hand and nodded to him to stay outside. I sat down in the closest chair.

"Hey" I said trying my best to get ther nervousness out of my tone.

"I heard about the IAB hearing, Olivia told me not to tell anyone." he said. I had to thank Olivia for not letting everyone know.

"Thought it best that way, you know how I like to surprise" I laughed.

"So you coming back?"

"No, decided to go on a holiday. Of course I am" I teased. He handed over my badge and my gun.

"Thought you may need these back." he said, tone never altering. "About the TV show?"

"You want me to get rid of it?" I asked.

"No, I don't but I need to know something about it."

"Anything you need. I owe everyone so much"

"I decided not to watch them but I need to know am I important?" he asked, like a teenage boy finding out for the first time that someone liked him.

"You are really important, a episode isn't complete without you." I said grabbing his hand. I heard the door knock, Daniel, nearly forgot about him.

"Who is he?" Cragen asked fatherly. I got up and opened the door for Daniel.

"Captain this is my new boyfriend Daniel, Daniel this is Captain Cragen." I said trying my best to keep the boy from, if they did, fighting.

"Nice to meet you." Cragen said shaking his hand. "Shouldn't you go meet the group?" he asked laughing silently. Daniel and I walked out of Cragen's office and down to the rest of the group.

"Comatose Australian looking for best work mates ever!" I yelled getting there attention. Everyone's heads turned my direction, Munch and Fin looking pleased while Elliot looked startled. Olivia got up from her desk and ran to hug me.

"But you were meant to die, thats what the doctor's said" Elliot muttered.

"Since when do you believe doctors Elliot? Nice to have you back Steph" Fin said walking over to hug me.

"Same here" Munch says as me walks over to hug me as well. _Don't we just love hugs?_

"Nice to see you again Daniel" Olivia says to Daniel next to me. Everyone starts to look puzzled. _Better tell them before they toast their brains. _I roll my eyes.

"Everyone this is Daniel Zurffork, my boyfriend, Daniel this is everyone." I blush slightly as I introduce him. Everyone starts talking to him, I manage to sneak away and talk to Elliot still sitting at his desk.

"Hey"

"Hey" he replies grumpily. Silence starts to flicker between us.

"So, Daniel, Do you, I don't know, like him?" He askes with that shy geeky guy tone.

"Of course I love him." I say, trying my best not to cry, I have become quite teary lately. "And you know what, everything is going to be okay, you got to stop blaming yourself." The tears start.

"But I could have let you-" I cut him off.

"Done what? Kill me? I doubt it, you wouldn't do that." I shake my head. "You and I need to let this past us, start again. At the start" I put my arm around him. He pulls my arm off him, I shake my head. I lean in and whisper in his ear _'It's okay to be afraid'. _He immediatly stands up.

"Welcome Back Steph" He says and walks off. I wipe the tears from my face and walk back to the group busy discussing Daniel. _At least they liked him_

So thats my story, as strange it seems, thats what happens. It happened to me, it may be weird and downright bizzare but I won't have changed it for the world. The people I met, the lives I changed and the countless new friends I have now are amazing. Law and Order will still be favorite TV show, wait, not TV show, my favourite place. Things happen for a reason and this was one of them.

* * *

**THE END**

Please tell me what you think?

Sequel?

Comments?

Questions?

**:DD**


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